HAIR

They all thought it was about the hair

she is going to cry
when she sees no hair
she is going to panic when its all gone

what will she look like
how will she cope
with no hair

i said cone head
they say stop that
i say Powder
they say don't say that

they thought it was about the hair
when I refused to see the mirror
they forgot
I had no breast
it was not the hair I miss
its not the hard rocks on my chest
that hurt

it is not the overwhelness of chemotherapy and nausea
that makes me sick

it is you
you think it is all about the hair

it is about what you do not dare to ask

who am I now

do you see me
i am still here
no do not feed me that
no I did not forget my medicine
oh gosh
no my head is not cold

no do not be sorry
that kid is starring at my bald head

do not ask me to stop that
you stop

i am not dead
i am here
yet you have moved on
as if I died

it is not about loosing my hair
it was always about loosing me
learning to live
after dying

it was about learning to
see
what I had lost
learning to understand
cancer was not a zodiac sign
it came
it took
yes I see
I am alive
but who am I
do you see
now I have hair
what is all this now
tell me
 who is this now
here
do you see
it is still not about the hair